When I was leaving Japan, having lived there for three and a half years, I had a huge leaving party. About 55 people showed up. Parties were easy to throw in Japan cause all the expats and students we were friends with were all on Facebook and you just put up an event and everyone shows up. But i hadn't really accounted for 55. I thought at most there would be 40 and so I booked for 50 just in case.
In Japanese Izakayas, which are like restaurant bars, you can generally book a private room if you have lots of people and generally you order some sort of set menu with nomihoudi which means all you can drink. Which I believe is just awesome. It's about $40. $40 all you can drink and enough food for everyone with some left over. All my Australian mates reading this are now booking flights.
So at the end of the night they asked not how many were there but how many we booked for. We said 50. They then quoted a price. Everyone came out and we collected their money on the way through. In the end though, we were about $150 up and Hiro and I hadn't paid yet. I very quickly pocketed the money and told Hiro I'd be shouting our drinks. It was a GOOD night.
I really miss nights like that in Japan. When I went back we went to Miami Beer Garden for my birthday. This was just a 1 week holiday but it happened to fall on my birthday. Miami Beer Garden is on the top of the DaiNagoya building. It opens over the summer and it is $40 all you can eat and drink. It has yakiniku which is thinly sliced raw meat that you cook yourself on a small bbq and lather in sauce before eating. In Miami Beer Garden there is a smorgasboard of raw meat to choose from and it is AWESOME.
The variety of beer is good too. When you are finished with your three hours you have to pay $5 per half hour to continue. Can I eat and drink $5 worth of meat and beer in half an hour? Yes I think I can.
AND I WILL!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
I have been going to the gym a bit recently because I'm applying for the police force. I went the other day and the number of people there was just stupid. So I've been trying to find places I can exercise outdoors instead of going to the gym and it reminded me of this guy I saw in Japan. I lived in this place for five months and it had no parks, grass, trees or green anywhere near it. And I used to get back at about 11pm and there was this guy running up and down the stairs at the station. He looked like one of the 70's tennis players with the small shorts, tight shirts and headbands. So there's no place to exercise so he chooses the train station. The train station. What I loved about it though was that this wasn't in the outer area of the subway. This was inside. So either this guy has some deal worked out with the station guards, or he has actually paid for a subway ticket to he can run up and down the stairs. I couldn't understand it really. Nobody batted an eye. he ran back and forth past them and they just ignored him. Balsy.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The idea of a fad to me is interesting. By definition it is something cool that is sadly destined to go the way of the dodo in a very short time. There are people that latch on to fads as soon as they come to the fore and spend a large portion of their time practicing to become the best at whatever fad is in. This elevates the fad freak to instant celebrity status in the eyes of other fad freaks who are not quite so freaky. Until, inevitably, the fad loses it's steam and the fad freak, like an aging celebrity, tries in vain to cling to the fad just that little too long. They are therefore instantly shunned and even mocked for trying to hold onto their stardom.
Once the fad is over, the people who leave with their cool status intact are the ones that let go of the fad first. Or even better, were never seen to be interested in the fad in the first place. This is something I imagined was universal until I travelled to Asia and realised that this entire continent was obsessed with fads, and fad freaks held on to their fads until they came around in the next decade. My mate recently informed me that the latest Japanese fad is for girls to wear ridiculously larged framed glasses, reminiscent of The Big Chill, with no lenses in them. Apparently the bookworm look is in.
The reason I'm writing this, like usual, is to have a little rant. I was in Japan you see at the time of the natto and banana fad diets. Some brilliant dietician had developed a diet where you could eat whatever you wanted throughout the day as long as you ate only natto in the morning. Natto is fermented soybeans that smells suspiciously like fart and is so sticky you need to act out interpretive dance moves in order to cut off the stringy bit that hangs from the bottle to your plate. So when the natto diet went big I was relatively unaffected ecxept that I was forced to spend hours of my day talking about it in classes filled with image obsessed housewives, but then when the banana diet came out I was severely put out. You could not find a banana in any supermarket in the city. People were lining up every morning at opening time and buying up every banana in the store like they were flood victims stocking up on canned goods. When the fad died down a little but the supermarkets were still trying to make money off of it I tried to buy a bunch of bananas and found that the smallest bunch I could buy was a bunch of 40. Nice. Brown banana city at my place.
Once the fad is over, the people who leave with their cool status intact are the ones that let go of the fad first. Or even better, were never seen to be interested in the fad in the first place. This is something I imagined was universal until I travelled to Asia and realised that this entire continent was obsessed with fads, and fad freaks held on to their fads until they came around in the next decade. My mate recently informed me that the latest Japanese fad is for girls to wear ridiculously larged framed glasses, reminiscent of The Big Chill, with no lenses in them. Apparently the bookworm look is in.
The reason I'm writing this, like usual, is to have a little rant. I was in Japan you see at the time of the natto and banana fad diets. Some brilliant dietician had developed a diet where you could eat whatever you wanted throughout the day as long as you ate only natto in the morning. Natto is fermented soybeans that smells suspiciously like fart and is so sticky you need to act out interpretive dance moves in order to cut off the stringy bit that hangs from the bottle to your plate. So when the natto diet went big I was relatively unaffected ecxept that I was forced to spend hours of my day talking about it in classes filled with image obsessed housewives, but then when the banana diet came out I was severely put out. You could not find a banana in any supermarket in the city. People were lining up every morning at opening time and buying up every banana in the store like they were flood victims stocking up on canned goods. When the fad died down a little but the supermarkets were still trying to make money off of it I tried to buy a bunch of bananas and found that the smallest bunch I could buy was a bunch of 40. Nice. Brown banana city at my place.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
kangaroos, Americans, and not beign a bastard
(1)
When I was in 9th grade I stayed at a school camp for 6 months called Glengarry. Here we did regular school like all other kids except that we lived in dorms in the Kangaroo Valley and in the afternoons and on the weekend we did a lot of outdoor activities. As you can imagine a lot of shit went down while we were there but probably one of the strangest was during a bike race one night when I was knocked off my bike by a kangaroo. I went over my handlebars and had little to no skin left on my arms and legs at the end of it. Seriously, a kangoaroo bounced over the fence and landed right on top of me. There was nobody around during this incident so few people believe me but it is the sincere truth.
I often tell foreigners about that incident but never Americans. My sister once had an American penpal who, when my sister told her that our Aunty was getting married, asked how on earth they got all the Kangaroos out of the way so they could have the ceremony. As a result I have been sceptical about all American's awareness of the rest of the world from a very young age. I don't tell this story to them in order to prevent fuelling their delusions.
Of course, many Americans I have met in the subsequent years have disproved my stereotype.
(2)
There is an Australian themed restaurant in America calkled the Outback Steakhouse. Basically, it is the perception of what Australia is like through American eyes. It is a nice place. But they have since branched out into Asia and there is an Outback Steakhouse restaurant where I wasliving in Nagoya Japan.
So there is an Australian themed restaurant, run by Americans in Japan....... Interesting.
(3)
I like to think there is more to me than my height. I understood in Japan that people might mention my height every time they saw me because I might very well have been the tallest person they'd ever met. But i drew the line when three guys came up to me in the shopping centre and tried to get a group of people together to take a photo with me. I'm not a circus freak or a clown so I politely refused. What I wanted to do was take his camera, shove it down my pants, take a photo of my penis and tell him to go home and show his mother that.
I wish I were a bastard cause that would have been so satisfying.
When I was in 9th grade I stayed at a school camp for 6 months called Glengarry. Here we did regular school like all other kids except that we lived in dorms in the Kangaroo Valley and in the afternoons and on the weekend we did a lot of outdoor activities. As you can imagine a lot of shit went down while we were there but probably one of the strangest was during a bike race one night when I was knocked off my bike by a kangaroo. I went over my handlebars and had little to no skin left on my arms and legs at the end of it. Seriously, a kangoaroo bounced over the fence and landed right on top of me. There was nobody around during this incident so few people believe me but it is the sincere truth.
I often tell foreigners about that incident but never Americans. My sister once had an American penpal who, when my sister told her that our Aunty was getting married, asked how on earth they got all the Kangaroos out of the way so they could have the ceremony. As a result I have been sceptical about all American's awareness of the rest of the world from a very young age. I don't tell this story to them in order to prevent fuelling their delusions.
Of course, many Americans I have met in the subsequent years have disproved my stereotype.
(2)
There is an Australian themed restaurant in America calkled the Outback Steakhouse. Basically, it is the perception of what Australia is like through American eyes. It is a nice place. But they have since branched out into Asia and there is an Outback Steakhouse restaurant where I wasliving in Nagoya Japan.
So there is an Australian themed restaurant, run by Americans in Japan....... Interesting.
(3)
I like to think there is more to me than my height. I understood in Japan that people might mention my height every time they saw me because I might very well have been the tallest person they'd ever met. But i drew the line when three guys came up to me in the shopping centre and tried to get a group of people together to take a photo with me. I'm not a circus freak or a clown so I politely refused. What I wanted to do was take his camera, shove it down my pants, take a photo of my penis and tell him to go home and show his mother that.
I wish I were a bastard cause that would have been so satisfying.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Banana Holders
I was walking through a dollar store the other day, which is incidentally where I like to do the lion's share of my christmas shopping, and they were having a sale on Banana holders. It struck me as an interesting concept, the Banana Holder. A few years ago when I first saw one I saw the name and thought, "I just use my hand." (to hold a banana) Then, when I realised it was a case in which to put your banana I thought, "Don't bananas come with their own natural casing and isn't that casing called skin?" Why on earth would you need another case in which to put your banana? What a pain in the arse.
What appealed to me the most though wasn't the genius of the invention, but the ingenious way they had advertised it. Did they go through the many benefits of owning a banana holder? No they didn't. They obviously assumed that everyone would simply understand that they needed one. Instead they had a bright big sign above them which stated, "HOLD'S 90% OF ALL BANANAS!" Bananas coming, as you know, in a variety of shapes and sizes, initial designs must have proven inadequate.
I'm thinking of creating a spherical plastic container 3ft in diametre and trumping them with a new generation of banana holder, the sign for which would state, "HOLDS 100% OF ALL BANANAS!" I think I'm on to something here. Early retirement here I come!
What appealed to me the most though wasn't the genius of the invention, but the ingenious way they had advertised it. Did they go through the many benefits of owning a banana holder? No they didn't. They obviously assumed that everyone would simply understand that they needed one. Instead they had a bright big sign above them which stated, "HOLD'S 90% OF ALL BANANAS!" Bananas coming, as you know, in a variety of shapes and sizes, initial designs must have proven inadequate.
I'm thinking of creating a spherical plastic container 3ft in diametre and trumping them with a new generation of banana holder, the sign for which would state, "HOLDS 100% OF ALL BANANAS!" I think I'm on to something here. Early retirement here I come!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
McDonald's robots
I was once refused mustard at McDonalds.
It doesn't really sound like anyhting at all until you start to think about how McDonalds usually operates. Then it sounds impossible. Everyone now is sarcastically asking the question: "Did a McDonalds employee, when you asked for some mustard, really just say no?" And you all think my answer will be, "Well, not in those exact words." But this isn't true. I asked for some mustard and the guy literally said no.
But what got me was the reasoning behind it. I ordered a value meal and politely asked for some mustard and was politely refused. When I asked why, I was told that I had not ordered any chicken nuggets, and mustard only comes with chicken nuggets. I said I would pay extra for the mustard. This was followed by a solid minute of gazing at the register. After which I was told that I couldn't pay extra for mustard because there was no mustard button on the register.
There was no mustard button on the register.
There was no mustard button on the register.
I'll had to let this one sink in.
There was no mustard button on the register.
Now, every Australian reading this blog is shaking their head with a wry smile of amusement. Every Japanese who is reading this is shaking their head, puzzled as to where the joke lies in this story and wondering why anyone would go into McDonalds and ask for mustard with anything but chicken nuggets. Because mustard simply doesn't come with anything but chicken nuggets.
That is a story of how the Japanese refusal to break the rules frustrated me while I was there. This next one is a story of how the Japanese refusal to break the rules fills my heart with joy.
I went snowboarding a lot in Japan. It is just fantastic. The snow is awesome and it is ridiculously cheap. For $30 I can get a return bus ticket from Nagoya to the slopes which includes the lift passes. And there is a lot of snow and all the runs are perfectly groomed. And the groomed area is what you are supposed to ski or board on, because the parts of the mountain that aren't groomed are dangerous. Like if you go on them little monsters are going to jump out of invisibles holes and pounce on you as you fly down the mountain. So there is about 5 metres from where the groomed track finishes to where the trees start. And NOBODY goes there. This means that at any given time, if you dare to venture even half a metre off the groomed track you could have a run of kilometres of untracked powder snow. You could then catch the lift up the top and figure 8 your own tracks because noone else will go there. Because if you lose control you could hit a tree and just imagine the consequences. Plus, there are signs telling you to stay on the groomed runs and you cannot go against what the signs say. I'd like to see how the majority of Japanese would go if they went toCanada and saw everyone searching for powder runs right through the trees. Admittedly they don't have pine trees in Japan and there is no way you could make it rhoguh their forests intact. But it was just fantastic. Kilometres of untracked powder snow because the sign tells them they can't go there.
It doesn't really sound like anyhting at all until you start to think about how McDonalds usually operates. Then it sounds impossible. Everyone now is sarcastically asking the question: "Did a McDonalds employee, when you asked for some mustard, really just say no?" And you all think my answer will be, "Well, not in those exact words." But this isn't true. I asked for some mustard and the guy literally said no.
But what got me was the reasoning behind it. I ordered a value meal and politely asked for some mustard and was politely refused. When I asked why, I was told that I had not ordered any chicken nuggets, and mustard only comes with chicken nuggets. I said I would pay extra for the mustard. This was followed by a solid minute of gazing at the register. After which I was told that I couldn't pay extra for mustard because there was no mustard button on the register.
There was no mustard button on the register.
There was no mustard button on the register.
I'll had to let this one sink in.
There was no mustard button on the register.
Now, every Australian reading this blog is shaking their head with a wry smile of amusement. Every Japanese who is reading this is shaking their head, puzzled as to where the joke lies in this story and wondering why anyone would go into McDonalds and ask for mustard with anything but chicken nuggets. Because mustard simply doesn't come with anything but chicken nuggets.
That is a story of how the Japanese refusal to break the rules frustrated me while I was there. This next one is a story of how the Japanese refusal to break the rules fills my heart with joy.
I went snowboarding a lot in Japan. It is just fantastic. The snow is awesome and it is ridiculously cheap. For $30 I can get a return bus ticket from Nagoya to the slopes which includes the lift passes. And there is a lot of snow and all the runs are perfectly groomed. And the groomed area is what you are supposed to ski or board on, because the parts of the mountain that aren't groomed are dangerous. Like if you go on them little monsters are going to jump out of invisibles holes and pounce on you as you fly down the mountain. So there is about 5 metres from where the groomed track finishes to where the trees start. And NOBODY goes there. This means that at any given time, if you dare to venture even half a metre off the groomed track you could have a run of kilometres of untracked powder snow. You could then catch the lift up the top and figure 8 your own tracks because noone else will go there. Because if you lose control you could hit a tree and just imagine the consequences. Plus, there are signs telling you to stay on the groomed runs and you cannot go against what the signs say. I'd like to see how the majority of Japanese would go if they went toCanada and saw everyone searching for powder runs right through the trees. Admittedly they don't have pine trees in Japan and there is no way you could make it rhoguh their forests intact. But it was just fantastic. Kilometres of untracked powder snow because the sign tells them they can't go there.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Japanese Onsens
I was once in an onsen in Japan. An onsen is an outdoor natural spa, though very few are actually natural these days. But it is like a tradition in Japan to get your kit off with your mates and take a bath together. I thought it would be strange but I was surprisingly ok with it so long as the bath was big and there didn't need to be any touching involved. Despite trying non-stop for four years I wasn't able to find any male/female communal onsens, nor was I able to convince any of the girls I knew to join me in my search. Anyway, while we were lying on our banana chairs and I was musing over how I came to be in such a confined area with so many naked men, an old man walked right in front of us, turned around, and with no regard for his audience proceeded to bend over and start his Tai Chi exercises. I gagged. And I suddenly got the feeling I wasn't in Kansas anymore.
Despite this first hiccup I actually became quite fond of the onsen and now that I'm back home, it is one of the many things I miss about the country. Bring on the Australian onsens!
Despite this first hiccup I actually became quite fond of the onsen and now that I'm back home, it is one of the many things I miss about the country. Bring on the Australian onsens!
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