kangaroos, Americans, and not beign a bastard

(1)
When I was in 9th grade I stayed at a school camp for 6 months called Glengarry. Here we did regular school like all other kids except that we lived in dorms in the Kangaroo Valley and in the afternoons and on the weekend we did a lot of outdoor activities. As you can imagine a lot of shit went down while we were there but probably one of the strangest was during a bike race one night when I was knocked off my bike by a kangaroo. I went over my handlebars and had little to no skin left on my arms and legs at the end of it. Seriously, a kangoaroo bounced over the fence and landed right on top of me. There was nobody around during this incident so few people believe me but it is the sincere truth.

I often tell foreigners about that incident but never Americans. My sister once had an American penpal who, when my sister told her that our Aunty was getting married, asked how on earth they got all the Kangaroos out of the way so they could have the ceremony. As a result I have been sceptical about all American's awareness of the rest of the world from a very young age. I don't tell this story to them in order to prevent fuelling their delusions.

Of course, many Americans I have met in the subsequent years have disproved my stereotype.

(2)
There is an Australian themed restaurant in America calkled the Outback Steakhouse. Basically, it is the perception of what Australia is like through American eyes. It is a nice place. But they have since branched out into Asia and there is an Outback Steakhouse restaurant where I wasliving in Nagoya Japan.

So there is an Australian themed restaurant, run by Americans in Japan....... Interesting.

(3)
I like to think there is more to me than my height. I understood in Japan that people might mention my height every time they saw me because I might very well have been the tallest person they'd ever met. But i drew the line when three guys came  up to me in the shopping centre and tried to get a group of people together to take a photo with me. I'm not a circus freak or a clown so I politely refused. What I wanted to do was take his camera, shove it down my pants, take a photo of my penis and tell him to go home and show his mother that.

I wish I were a bastard cause that would have been so satisfying.